Harrison Ford Must Die

first_img Since 1983, celebrated actor Harrison Ford has been begging for death… in Star Wars. After Han Solo was frozen at the end of The Empire Strike Back, Ford famously tried to convince George Lucas to kill the character off before the final film in the trilogy. But the gambit failed, and Ford had to waste his time playing a still-alive Solo throughout Return of the Jedi’s entire run-time.However, in 2015 J.J. Abrams gave Ford the one gift Lucas never good, a sweet death. To complete his role as the Obi-Wan of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Solo died at the hands of a fallen student of the Force he once loved. Fans may have cried over this tragic death of a beloved character, but Ford must’ve been thrilled. He was dead, finally! All he had to do was risk dying in real-life after the Millennium Falcon door crushed his leg on set.Why stop at Star Wars? In-between (allegedly) smoking enormous amounts of pot, Harrison Ford is still appearing in a lot of movies. Some of those movies are sequels to older movies he’s starred in, and that means they’re movies he can be killed off in. We can’t let an opportunity to kill Harrison Ford (in a movie) pass us by. Let’s make him the Sean Bean of dying in sequels. Here are just a few suggestions for any filmmakers reading.Blade Runner 2049We just got our first look at the upcoming sequel to the cyberpunk classic Blade Runner. Ryan Gosling plays a new Blade Runner tasked with locating Harrison Ford’s character, Rick “May or May Not be a Robot” Deckard. With a young new star already lined up, killing off Ford here would be a totally justifiable move. Hopefully, he spouts a bunch of nonsense right before he dies like Roy Batty.Indiana Jones 5First off, the world doesn’t need a second unnecessary adventure of old Indiana Jones. Even with Disney in control, it’s time to let this franchise go already. However, the one thing this upcoming fifth entry could do to justify itself is, you guessed it, kill Harrison Ford. Indy already gets into life-threatening danger on a daily basis. Just follow that to a logical conclusion. It’s either that or endure another decade of elderly whipping and snake fear.Even More American GraffitiAmerican Graffiti is the classic film that first connected Harrison Ford and George Lucas. Its nostalgic vision of 1960s California car culture not only spawned a sequel but was also a huge inspiration for the creation of Happy Days. The ending of the original revealed the future of some major characters, including those who died in Vietnam, but the fate Harrison Ford’s Bob Falfa was left ambiguous after he survives the race-ending wreck. That means there are plenty of ways to kill him in a sequel.The Fugitive 2In this big-screen reboot of the classic TV series, Harrison Ford starred as a man who goes on the run after being framed for a crime he didn’t commit. Unfortunately, in the real world, people get punished for crimes they didn’t commit all the time. They get unjustly sent to jail or even put to death. Killing Harrison Ford in a new Fugitive could actually be a great way to teach audiences about the serious problem that is the colossal failure of the criminal justice system.Air Force One TwoBetween Olympus Has Fallen, Designated Survivor, and White House Down, people do sure love to watch the federal government collapse. What a wonderful escapist fantasy. So the time is now to bring Harrison Ford back as President James Marshall… and then kill him to raise the stakes. Make Harrison Ford Dead Again!Regarding Henry 2Regarding Henry is an uplifting story about a driven lawyer who loses his memory after a being shot and rebuilds himself into a better person. It would be such a shame to make a sequel killing off a character who has already suffered so much. But Harrison Ford is in it, and J.J. Abrams wrote it, so there’s really no other option.The Young Han Solo AdventuresHarrison Ford isn’t starring in this prequel adventure starring his famous space rogue. This time newcomer Alden Ehrenreich is doing the Kessel Run or whatever. Still, just because Harrison Ford isn’t the focus doesn’t mean he can’t die. At the very least, the film should include Solo’s death in The Force Awakens, just to remind us how this all ends. Dear Disney, Marvel, and Star Wars, Let Directors DirectMy Complicated Relationship with Gender and Star Wars Stay on targetlast_img

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